By Karline Lace
Lately I’ve been wondering
how to cope with my past lives
I have found that
I’m losing parts of myself
Forgetting what
I was like three years ago
sitting in biology class and feeling miserable
and invisible
(and being proud of that)
and feeling sad
and confused
and burned out
But still doing my homework
until I am in tears
and wishing for a change,
but don’t believing in one
Hoping that one day
I would finally have agency in my life
How
can I cope
with these past lives?
How
can I remember
her without drowning
in her memories?
How can I
move on
from her life?
I, of course,
owe it to her
to remember her
To remember
how she went to the bathroom
to cry
but also
how she went on walks
in her favourite park
in order to feel like she existed
and how she
returned from them
brand new
ready to face the new week
I, of course,
owe it to her
to remember her, so I can see
how I go on walks now
every day
and how I do things
that make me happy
(sometimes)
and how I have grown
and gotten the change I wished for
I owe it to her to remember her,
but how
do I do that
when I feel like I’m stuck?
Artwork by Oscar Laviolette