By Doga Mether
Freedom of the Self
The freedom to finally free to explore the open seas of being, is either the greatest gift or the greatest burden. Similarly, to the ocean, humanity has depths, levels and its unexplored abyss. Diving at each level at once is impossible and should not be possible, similarly to the ocean floor, there will always be a level of uncertainty in the likeability of what we find.
Unlike You
One should dare to question the fabrication of the “self” as a whole (conceptually, physically, materially). In conversations, where one has done something inexplicable, the argument of “that’s very unlike person x” often comes in to play. I’d like to break this sentence down. “That’s”, indicating at the action so ridiculous, so absurd, it is labeled as foreign and strange, instead of the action itself, it becomes “that”. Almost as if we’ve been charting this specific person’s actions since birth, and deemed their recent action strange, because it does not fit their fabrication of self. The adjective “very”, adding onto the emphasis, this one specific action is extremely beyond person x’s capability. I will come back to the point of the general capability of each individual later. Next, “unlike”.
This word has numerous and various implications for all parties engaged in the conversation and the one who has done something “unlike” them. Firstly, let’s discuss the social aspect. Clearly, this person has weaved an image so unwavering that it has been accepted as the person’s norm to act this way within groups, and on one-on-one interactions. This sends a wave of confusion amongst the friends of person x, each questioning just how well they knew this person, if they knew them at all. On a deeper level, each person questions their competence, in terms of how quickly they can “figure” someone out. They question their level of sensitivity, empathy and capabilities in understanding another person.
However, truly understanding another person, takes more than a mere friendship based on unconditional love. What is actually being asked for, is more of a burdensome task than it meets the eye. A complex individual, constructed of positive and negative experiences, has a natural personal “tint” on the world. By tint, I mean their sunglasses, built and constructed, destroyed and rebuilt. This person has a natural bias, controlled by both conscious and subconscious push factors. Perhaps, this person had their own memories made with this other person or, lack of in this case. With all the points mentioned, these behaviours create a cycle of blame.
Self-Destructive
Perhaps, one of the most interesting indicator of being human. It is undeniable that from the day we are born, we pace towards death. To die, is a taboo in modern day society now, where suicide exists as an unspoken alternative. Death is negative, the closer we get towards death, the more our beauty is lost, our youth is stripped away, our bones shrink and sometimes our memories stray.
Whether or not we have a choice, it is in our very cells to decompose and decay. What lives forever, literally becomes a tumor like cell, cancer. Our cells have the potential to live forever, to continually multiply, but they are programmed to self-destroy. Biology then acts into personality, very often, I hear someone say “it was my fault”, “why am I like this?”, “how did I mess this up?”, or even “sorry, I self-sabotaged again”. Self-sabotage, stepping in your own way of creating, or experiencing something beautiful. Whether or not this happens due to some twisted way of fabricating destiny or fate, is beyond for one to decide. The phenomenon though, is interesting enough by itself.
Yet, there is an undeniable antiquity of an old age, the beauty suddenly is measured in kindness and wisdom, in the soul. Once we recognize our primitive judgement on appearance and age is no longer relevant, intuitively we seek for more. This feeds into the debate on, if we are more than just animals, if we have some capability to be spiritual, or to connect to the world in a way that is beyond physical touch.
Conclusion
After the somewhat negative talk of what it is to be, it’s important to analyze how one should view life. The most efficient is that of optimism. To recognize life as a journey with an expiry date, is somewhat pessimistic. One mustn’t disregard the destination, however the emotional emphasis on the journey makes life into living, instead of surviving. Too often, people try to survive life, disregard the colors and live in the grey zone. The calls to adventure are ignored, as the pursuit of greed and desire are of more benefit in the long-term.
And how can we disagree? The simple computer I’m typing this out on was out of this greed, and the room I am sitting in. It is equally unrealistic to say, we’d be so much better off without technology or money or to say that technology and money are our greatest means. A balance must be achieved, were on our way walking to our ambition, we must learn to stop and smell the roses, without picking them off.
Edited by Zuzanna Mietlinska
Artwork by Chira Tudoran